A Bullet for Vaati
by Vaati's Apprentice
Summary: Link is searching for the perfect birthday gift for Zelda, but he hasn't had much luck. And things get even more complicated when Majora the Kid takes Zelda hostage. Warning: contains Link x Zelda flufiness.


Well, it's time for another Zelda western straight from the mind of Vaati's Apprentice. I guess that I'm the only one willing to try this out, since nobody else has written a Zelda western. Oh well, less competition for me. I do not own the Legend of Zelda. You know the drill, read and review.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was yet another beutiful day in Kakarilda. Then it started to rain. Then it snowed. Then fire and brimstone rained down from the heavens. Then it went back to raining. And Ruto was hit multiple times with lightning while a buffalo stampede trampled her.

Anyway, the weather was beutiful once again. And the crime fighting trio of Link, Vaati and Dark were searching through town.

You see, Zelda's birthday was today. And Link wanted to find the perfect gift for her. They had already been through every general store in town and Link couldn't find a thing.

Zelda was mayor Daltus' daughter after all. "What do y'all get fer a girl that has everything?" Vaati asked. "I know, how bought ya get her a coupon fer one free night o' hot sex." Dark suggested.

"That's what I got Midna fer her birthday." Dark said. "I'm gonna take no leap at all and assume she never used it." Vaati said. "Shut up." Dark said in defeat.

"It doesn't matter, I don't wanna have sex with her. Well... I do, but not right now." Link said. "Don't worry sheriff, I'm sure y'all find somethin that'll make her heart sing." Vaati said.

"Yeah brother. If anyone has a shot at Zelda, it's you." Dark said. At that moment, Nabooru came running towards them with a concerned look on her face.

"Sheriff, thank the goddesses I found y'all." she said. "Hey, if this is about Ruto. I did _not_ tie her corpse to a cactus and use it fer target practice." Link said. "What are ya talkin about?" Nabooru asked.

"Uum, nothin." Link said. "Anyway, thar's a problem. Majora the Kid is on a rampage in town!" Nabooru said. "Majora the Kid!? Damn, where do these guys come from?" Link said.

"Thar's one more thing, he's got Zelda hostage!" Nabooru said. A multitude of emotions crossed Link's face. Most of them were extremely pissed off looks.

The trio move towards Town Hall where Majora the Kid had a gun to Zelda's head. "What do y'all want Majora!?" Link yelled.

"Ah sheriff, I've been expectin ya!" Majora yelled. "Now listen up, I've got one request. I want the map to the chocolate unicorn mine!" Majora the Kid yelled.

Link, Vaati, Dark and even Zelda exchanged dumbfounded looks with each other. "Are y'all serious!?" Link yelled. "Of course I am! The man who controls the army of the chocolate unicorns, controls the fate of the world!" Majora yelled.

"Listen, I'm gonna need y'all to just calm down and let go of Zelda!" Link yelled. During this time, Vaati had snuck inside and was sneaking up on Majora.

Vaati smacked Majora the Kid in the back of his head. Wich would normally kill someone, but Skull Kids have their brains in their legs. So it merely stunned him.

But that was enough to make him let go of Zelda. "Zelda, get outta here. I'll take care o' Majora!" Vaati said. Vaati yelled. Zelda managed to run out of the room and down the stairs.

"Well, looks like I'll have to deal with you first." Majora said, pulling out his pistol. Vaati grabbed Majora and threw him across the room before he could fire.

Majora hit a wall and Vaati grabbed a hold of Majora's throught. Majora landed a kick on Vaati's stomach wich made him drop Majora and fall to the ground.

Majora scrambled for his gun. But just when he was inches away from it, Vaati grabbed his leg and dragged him away from his pistol.

Majora landed punch after punch on Vaati's face, desperately trying to free himself from the Minish's grip. Vaati once again grabbed Majora by the throught and slammed him repeatedly against the ground.

Vaati then threw Majora across the room. Vaati grabbed the pistol and fired several rounds into Majora's torso. "Bullets... my only weakness. How did ya know?" with that, Majora the Kid fell to the ground with a thud.

Vaati exited the building with a few bruises and a bloody nose. The townsfolk cheered for him and Zelda gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. Wich made him turn... I don't know. Whatever color Minish turn when they blush.

Link grabbed Zelda's hand and lead her into an alley. "Look Link, that was just a thank you kiss." Zelda said as Link turned her towards him. "I know, the old Minish deserves one after that standoff." Link said.

"That's not what I need to talk to ya about. It's your birthday today. And don't tell me that I don't need to get anything for ya, because I do." Link said, seeing that Zelda was about to protest him getting her a gift.

"I looked all over town for somethin. I even went into the desert and got captured by the Gerudos. Don't ask me how I got out, the story is longer than the escape itself." Link said.

"I got caught up in that blizzard. I got third degree burns from the fire and brimstone. And through all that, I realized that the perfect gift doesn't exist." Link said.

"Then what did you drag me away fer?" Zelda asked. "Well, I was hoping that y'all could accept this as a gift." Link said. With that, Link drew Zelda close to him and pressed his lips against hers.

To his surprise, Zelda didn't protest. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Link's neck and pushed into him. Deepening the kiss. This was truly the best birthday gift she had ever recieved.

Vaati looked up from wiping the blood off his nose to see the couple in each-others loving embrace. Vaati couldn't help but smile.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There it is, the third installment of my Zelda western series. As always, tell me if you enjoyed it. And this was the first time I had an actuall fight scene in one of my fics. I hope it was all right. Vaati's Apprentice, over and out!


End file.
